The Curse of Neptune
by MuffinPuppiesUnite
Summary: The words spoken by Neptune when his crown was stolen are more frightening than even Plankton could have foreseen. Spongebob, Pat, Sandy, Squidward and Mr Krabs must survive Long Beach, California as the creature they know least about: humans. But with old foes hiding around corners, and their hosts, who seem to be their saviors, keeping secrets, is it more than they can handle?
1. A Bright Light & a Curse

"I'm on fire!" Mr. K cries, and jumps into a barrel of water. I bite my lip in fear, and approach Neptune.

"King Neptune, sir?" I whimper. My yellow hands are visibly shaking as he turns to me.

"What do you want, you insolent porifera!?" Neptune yells, causing the restaurant the quake under his booming voice. He hits his trident on the ground as he yells, which makes it shake even harder.

"I could get your crown back." I wince when he spits in my face.

"No! I have other plans." Neptune announces. "I will send you, your skinflint boss, and that self-absorbed teuthida to the worst back-stabbing, foul, moral-lacking society in the world. _Human_ society."

"What?" Squidward gasps.

"You can't do that to Spongebob!" Sandy shouts, and Patrick stands behind her. She would know the best what that world is like.

_No, stop it!_ I want to yell at my friends. I don't want them to be punished for my sake. Neptune growls.

"You two will be silent or you will parish with these vile creatures!" Neptune orders. Fear flashes in Pat's eyes, but it is soon replaced by such cold-blooded hatred that I'm taken aback.

"I don't care!" Patrick replies firmly. "He's my best friend!"

"That's how it's gonna be." Neptune grunts. He raises his trident above his head, and I just have time to cry out; "Wait!" before a blinding light consumes the restaurant.

**xxxxx**

I go into the Krusty Krab, standing on Karen's base, after seeing a dazzling light flash inside, and I wonder what happened. Krabs, Squidward, the yellow imbecile, and his fat friend are nowhere in sight.

"Excuse me, King Neptune?" I tentatively ask.

"What?" Neptune roars, and the brown bag on his head shifts a bit.

"What did you do to those imbeciles?" I ask, adding _imbeciles_ so it doesn't appear as if I care about them.

"I banished them to the place second only to the depths of hell." Neptune grunts.

"A-and where would that be?" I ask and, trying to hide the quivering in my lip,

"The _human_ world." He squints in hatred at something invisible to the rest of us. "California, to be exact." I'm slightly shocked. I would never wish that on anyone, even Krabs.

"I-isn't that a little harsh, your majesty?" I close my eyes as soon as I finish, due to the pure hateful choler that crosses the king's face.

"Daddy, wait!" A voice, a soft feminine one that must belong to the princess, fills my ears just before the light blinds me.

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**A/N: So, what do you think? Please review! This is my first Spongebob fic, and I need all the opinions I can get! Thank you for reading the first chapter of "The Curse of Neptune" **


	2. Swimwear & Sand

I force my eyes open against the sand coating my eyelashes. After a minute of clearing my eyes, I begin coughing. But not normal coughing, no. A dry coughing that takes three minutes to clear itself. When I look around, I see a _h-human_ with greyish green hair about five feet away, in the same position as me, coughing up sand onto the beach. He wears brown shorts, and his hair is the length like those boys in the bands Pearl constantly plays when I'm at Mr. K's house.

I hear the splash of the waves, and realize I'm on land. I stand and begin running for the water, only when I look down I almost faint at the sight of my pale human body, dressed in blue board shorts, and my chest is bare. At least, I'm guessing that's what I am. A human. I've never seen a real human; only read about them. Apparently they're huge. I push the new blonde hair out of my face, and force myself to breathe air for the first time in three years, since I met Sandy, and it does me good.

"Sandy_." _I remember. "Patrick_,_ Squidward, Mr.K!" I begin frantically calling their names over and over on the empty curve of a beach, until I hear that familiar, nasal voice.

"I'm here, you dunce." Squidward coughs out, and I turn to him, the tall, grayish haired human, and I can't help but feel a bit glad someone else is here. He's on his hands and knees, trying to stand up. "Where are my other legs? Why do I have fingers like you?" He begins breathing heavily. "_What_ am I?" He collapses onto his side, and I hear a mix of snorting, sneezing, and puking behind me.

"Pat?" I say tentatively as I turn around and walk the ten foot distance between us. He has less of a belly then when he was a star, has short pink hair, and wears green shorts with purple flowers. And his arms appear like they're muscular, although I can't be sure.

"Who are you?" He begins scrambling backwards, not able to stand, and I realize I may be the only one, despite my skinny body, to stand easily, since my feet are most like my old ones.

"Pat, it's me, Spongebob." I answer, and he seems to calm down, although his human eyes remain terrified. He stands up, wobbly, and then falls on his butt. I bite my lip at his struggles. We're missing two; Mr. K and Sandy.

"Now what in the world is going on?" I hear Sandy's voice, and see what I assume to be a female human with dark brown hair. I begin running over to hug her, until I remember she might be scared.

"Sandy, it's Spongebob." I say.

"Alright." She stands, and I see she's wearing her purple bikini, and realize we're all wearing our swimwear. She flicks her hair that goes down to her shoulders behind her back, and begins brushing the sand off her tan legs.

"What should we do now?" I ask. As my tongue brushes over my teeth for the first time I'm paying attention, I find I'm missing my buck teeth. I begin running my tongue over my now normal front teeth in panic, another small yet so very large thing changed. I push it so hard I end up splitting the skin and filling my mouth with the taste of blood.

"What are ye lazy butts doin' on the sand?" I hear the snickering of my boss, and turn to see him, in human form, walking over. He wears a pale blue pair of shorts, and I read that older humans age like fish in appearance, so he must have been aged down, because he looks about Squidward's age, although he has some stubble. His hair is blunt red, and he seems to have adjusted to his bare human feet almost immediately. His arms are large, compared to mine or even Patrick's, and I assume it's the equivalent of what he had in the navy. I run over and hug him.

"Oh, Mr. Krabs! Mr. Krabs!" I yell, letting myself swing us both around, causing us to fall into the sand.

"Ai, that's no way to behave." Mr. Krabs says, picking himself up, and giving me a claw- er, hand. "I see Sandra and Squidward are here, so is the fat one."

"Hey!" Patrick stumbles when trying to stand, and Mr. Krabs stops laughing. He's not fat anymore, and I can't help thinking about how they all look attractive, so maybe I do, too. But it's weird. I feel this new sense of attraction to Sandy, not like when we first met, and I had a case of the wormy-love on her, no. This is deeper, more intense, more...I don't know how to describe it. Maybe this is how humans feel when attracted? I push that thought out of my mind because it's absolutely ridiculous that I'd be attracted to her now that she's a human.

"Where are my legs?" Squidward begins whimpering, probably more scared than me at the fact of what happened to us, and it snaps me out of my train of thought.

"I found a cave over there," Mr. Krabs starts, pointing towards the far end of the beach at what I can only make out to be rocks. "But I see we're having some moving issues." Squidward crawls over, and grabs onto Mr. Krabs feet, pure panic overwhelming him.

"Help, help, help." Squidward whimpers, and Mr. Krabs shakes him off.

"We're people now, and we need to hide." Sandy says. "This cave? Is it secure?"

"Well, I had some trouble finding a way out, and it seems hard to find from the outside if you don't know where to enter." Mr. Krabs replies. "And it has a good amount of space."

"Alright, I know the most about humans, I'll take charge." Sandy declares. "Spongebob and I will help Patrick over, Eugene, you help Squidward."

Mr. Krabs lifts Squid and helps him wrap his arms around his shoulders and Mr. K almost drags him over. Patrick wraps an arm around a shoulder of both mine and Sandy, and we follow the young Mr. Krabs at the start of this waking nightmare.

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**A/N: Did you like it? Was it a good chapter? Let me know in the reviews, please! Next chapter should be up fairly soon. **


	3. Reflections & Dreams

When we reach the cave, it seems more like a pile of rubble until Mr. Krabs points to a gap in the rocks about fifteen feet up that I would have missed if it weren't for him.

We try to figure out how to get Pat and Squidward up. Patrick is starting to gain some independence with his own legs, but it seems difficult for him. Sandy decides Mr. Krabs and Patrick will go first, then we'll decide how to help Squidward, who is obviously struggling with the missing-half-your-legs thing.

"Come on, son." Mr. Krabs urges on Patrick, who doesn't have too much control of his feet. A small rock slips out from underneath him, but Mr. Krabs catches his wrist. His muscles are straining, but finally Pat gets repositioned and he can climb again. Once they've disappeared, we turn to Squidward.

"I don't need you." Squidward huffs, beginning to walk. He makes his way, stumbling over his feet, for about a yard until he falls over and takes a mouthful of sand.

"Arrogant lunkhead." Sandy mutters. "Spongebob, get Mr. Krabs. He and I will haul him into the cave." I furrow my brows at her, wondering why she didn't think I could help her. But I just nod and begin climbing. My hand slips, but not enough to let Sandy see and soon I've reached the hole.

The gap is small and I have to crawl through, and once I do, it's a steep climb down the pile of rocks into the cold, wet, cavern, and I'm taken aback by the beauty. Stalagmites are spread thinly across the cave, which appears to be about sixty yards long and about ten wide. Around the middle, but closer to the end, there is a small, glittering lake that I can't wait to feel against my hands. The rock pile seems to have formerly been an opening, but collapsed. Natural light the color of sunset filters in through various cracks, illuminating the midnight purple rock.

I send Mr. Krabs outside to help Sandy, and run over to the lake, where Patrick is thirstily drinking the water. I run my fingers through it, and for a moment forget my troubles, and a huge grin covers my face from what I can only guess is from cheek-to-cheek. The icy water feels good against my skin, but surprisingly so does the frigid air.

I look into the water at my reflection. I have blue-green eyes, like my sponge ones. I have freckles, and my face is kind of round. My nose is pointed, and my hair is blonde and just a typical, average-Joe haircut, whereas Mr. Krabs and Squidward have cool hair. Ugh, I shouldn't be worrying about this.

I hear shuffling and turn around to see Squidward unstably limp-walking over, until he falls on his knees at the edge of the water, a couple paces to my right, and begins weeping. Seeing him cry reminds me once again of why we're here, and I begin wailing. Soon Squidward's cries flatten out to soft whimpering, but by then Patrick has joined in.

"What a bunch of softies." I hear Mr. Krabs grunt. I calm down my sobbing, and lie on my side. The cold rock just about freezes my bare skin, but I'm not sure I care right now, I'm so exhausted.

"It'll be dark soon." Sandy comments. "I suggest we sleep, because tomorrow we start figuring things out. Mmkay?" We all nod, and I let my hand fall in the water again, as a comforting reminder of home. Patrick lies back-to-back with me, and I fall asleep too fast to know what everyone else is doing.

**xxxxx**

I hear meowing, and I feel blankets, not really soft but not too scratchy, on me, and realize I was dreaming. I try to stretch, and nothing happens. My mouth feels like it's opening and closing repeatedly, and I realize my high-pitched snoring sounds like meowing. My eyes open.

The blanket is some sort of weaved sheet, and I see Mr. Krabs- in human form, of course- weaving more out of reeds. Patrick isn't sleeping near me, and I turn to see him washing up at the nearby lake. I sit up, and Mr Krabs nods at me. Sandy is sleeping in a gap at the base of the rock pile, and if I look hard it seems there's algae growing in it, making it soft.

"Good morning, sir." I smile at him. He just grunts at me. "Did you sleep at all?" I ask Patrick, walking over towards him.

"Yeah, but I had a dream about a Krabby Patty, and Mr. Krabs said I was drooling all over myself." Patrick shrugs. Just thinking about a Krabby Patty makes my mouth water and my fingers tingle. My stomach begins growling quite loudly, and Mr. Krabs looks up from what seems to be his third blanket. I walk over to Sandy.

"I'm hungry." I say as shake her awake.

"So am I, what do you suggest we do?" Sandy narrows her eyes at me before curling back up in her algae-lined crevice. "Why is that covered in algae?"

"It's not algae, it's moss, ya idiot." Sandy hisses, and I realize she's right. I haven't felt moss in awhile; not so common in Bikini Bottom. I'm slightly offended by Sandy's actions, until I remember she's not a morning person. I walk over to Mr. Krabs.

"Any ideas for food?" I ask.

"Climb up there and see if you can spot any food sources, lad." He replies, and I do as told. Climbing up is harder on this side, and my foot slips at least four times, but eventually I reach the top. And I am scared as tartar sauce at what I see.

"Barnacles!"


	4. Loss of Balance & An Awkward Moment

I nearly fall from my spot with my knees on a couple rocks. Several humans are walking along the beach in the bight early-afternoon light. I can tell it's not too popular a beach, but this could be a problem.

"What's the trouble, me boy?" Mr. Krabs asks as I start scrambling down.

"Humans!" I gasp out, bringing Squidward's and Pat's attention, and Sandy crawls out of her small crevice.

"What?" Squidward asks in shock. Patrick helps him up, much to Squid's annoyance, and they walk over here.

"About seven of them." I say. "What should we do?"

"Well, were they in their swimwear?" Sandy asks. I nod. "Then, it shouldn't be a problem. Maybe we could find someone who could help us."

"Surely they'd think our heads full of barnacles if we said we had been cursed by an undersea god!" Mr. Krabs argues, making a valid point. I know if a fish said a human god had cursed them to roam in the ocean among sea animals, I'd find it hard to believe.

"I'm not saying that." Sandy replies. "We need a place to stay if we want to get jobs. What do you all think you can do?"

"Patties!" I say, too gleeful to explain more, although I'm sure she knows. Mr. Krabs nods.

"Aye, the lad can cook, I'll do anything," He starts. "What about you three?" Patrick moves his hand to his chin, and in doing so lets Squidward fall. Patrick gasps, I put my hand on my mouth, and Mr. Krabs stifles a laugh. Mr. Krabs helps him up.

"First we need to get Squid's legs working." Sandy instructs. "Squidward, try to walk. I wanna see where you're at." Squidward takes about nine steps before collapsing onto the ground.

"It's no use." Squidward grunts. "I'm missing half my legs."

"Don't be such a sourpuss." Sandy says. She helps him to a round rock, and he stands on it, his feet right next to each other. He stands with some balance for a couple seconds, before collapsing into Sandy. She gets mad at him at first.

"Squidward get-" She cuts off, and after a second of silence she throws him off. I couldn't see their faces, so maybe he looked hurt...? I don't know.

"It was an accident, Sandy." Squidward comments as he drags himself up to sit on the rock.

"Yeah, I know, but it was disgusting." Sandy says.

"What?" Mr. Krabs asks.

"Nothing!" Sandy hisses. "Let's keep working." I exchange a look with Mr. Krabs at her tone, which, for seemingly no reason, was very harsh. He shrugs, and we get back to focusing.

It takes what feels like a couple hours to get Squidward on a somewhat normal level, but occasionally he forgets he's missing a foot and trips. And after another hour or so, he's barely doing that, but he's tired from all the leg exercises Sandy is making him do.

"Okay, follow the line of pebbles." I say as I walk by him. Sandy, Patrick, and Mr. K said it's finally my turn to help him, so I made a sort of track with two lines of pebbles, and he has to stay in the lines. He makes it to the end and the other three clap.

"Thank you, guys." Squidward says, head ducked in what must be embarrassment. Not like him, but maybe he sees it as something trivial. I wrap my arms tightly around him.

"Oh Squidward, I'm glad you're one of my best friends!" I say as I hug him tighter. He pushes my arms off.

"We could be cursed to spend all of eternity in a pit of jellyfish, and I'm still not your friend." He walks over towards the others, still a bit rough but doing well. The sun has well set and it's time to sleep, although I'm not sure I can, with the growling in my stomach.

"Oh, hush up." Sandy rolls her eyes when I voice my complaints. "Chew some of the red algae growing in the lake." I press my lips together and walk over. It tastes a bit bland -nothing like the sweet, savory, taste of a Krabby Patty- but I guess it's better than nothing.

I must have fallen asleep because next thing I know, I'm waking up, the water- air, sorry- is cool, and bluish light is streaming in through the cracks. I sit up. No one else is awake, but Patrick fell asleep with a bit of red algae in his hand, and bits of it sprinkle the corners of his mouth. I laugh out loud, and Squidward wakes up suddenly.

"Clarry!" He wakes up shouting his clarinet's name, and I bite my lip in guilt. Until now, I haven't even thought about Gary. Maybe...I have to wonder if Neptune cared enough to not let Gary starve. He wouldn't let him die, would he? I can't bear the thought, and soon I'm trying not to burst into tears. It doesn't work. Sandy wakes up and walks over. My heart begins to get a little warmer, beat a little faster, and I feel this attraction to her again. I shake my head. That's not right. As soon as I shake my head, I think of Gary again, and start bawling harder. I can't help it.

"Stop crying, please, Spongebob!" Sandy says, a worried tone hinting in her voice. I calm down just as Mr. Krabs is starting to wake up. It doesn't seem possible for him to hide it; his stomach growl echoes in a great roar.

"Alright, we need food." Mr. Krabs announces. Patrick, who apparently woke up because he's yawning and walking over, nods his head.

"I could go for a Krabby Patty." Patrick states, another yawn overcoming him. He pats his empty belly with both hands. My stomach growls quietly at the thought of biting into the juicy, sweet, succulent meat pie that is the Krabby Patty.

"Well, none of us will have one of those again." I tun to see Squidward as he comments, unstably walking over. He blows the bangs out of his face, although I'm sure if these were more normal circumstances, he'd be ecstatic at having a full head of hair. I still can't get over the fact that he looks so much more attractive than me, so does Patrick, and even Eugene "past-my-prime" Krabs looks better than me! I shake my head. I can't possibly be thinking about something as trivial as this. Besides, no human can match the good looks of the average fish. These creatures are so pale and pink; like a type of octopus, except uglier.

"I think we should set out for food." Sandy says. Squidward immediately looks worried.

"W-what time is it?" He asks, shaking. Sandy looks over at the small hole, and estimates it's nearing noon.

"Come on." Sandy urges. I sigh, and the five of us set out for food, my heart thrashing in fear of confronting the creatures that look our equals, but I know we are nothing alike.

* * *

**A/N: Okay, what do you think will happen? How's Gary, do you think? And what the heck happened between Squid and Sandy?! Let me know your opinions in the reviews, please! Thank you for reading!**


	5. Sandcastles & Elizabeth

"Hey, I haven't seen your group on this beach." A girl with orange hair, who seems about Sandy's age, taps Squidward on the shoulder. He turns around awkwardly. She and her friend giggle.

"Hey, I'm, uh..." His face turns bright red, so I guess humans blush, too. Sandy, who is behind him, nudges him. "Quincy! My name is Quincy." Sandy told us humans don't go by names like Squid's and mine, so I should go by Robert, and him, Quincy, which is his middle name.

"Quincy." The girl tastes it. "Unique. I'm Cassie, and this is S.J." S.J twirls her blonde hair between her fingers, looking at Squid. She and her friend are both in bikinis like Sandy's; Cassie's is pink, and S.J's is orange. Cassie is looking at Mr. K, but once she realizes I noticed, she turns her attention to Squid.

"You're very cute." S.J. says. "What's with the hair? Gray early? And you know your hair looks like Justin Bieber's?" _Who's that?_ I wonder.

"Well, I just like my hair like this...?" He smiles, and the girls laugh. Sandy nods at Mr. Krabs.

"Ahem, well, the four of us are going to go walk some." He says. He nudges me and the four of us walk away, leaving Squid with the two girls.

"Well, that was fast." Mr. Krabs sighs. I kneel down at the edge of the water, letting the salty water splash up onto my legs. Sandy walks somewhere to talk to Mr. Krabs, and Patrick plops down next to me.

"Wanna make sand castles?" He asks, smiling at me.

"Yeah!" I cheer, and we begin. Soon I have a wall up, and I'm starting to make the base of the building, when people have started to crowd around, including Mr. K and Sandy.

"You should enter a contest." An older woman with short graying brown hair says, standing by who I assume to be her husband. I walk out the main gap that serves as a door.

"Thank you!" I squeak, joy of remembering Goo Lagoon filling me to the brim. Her husband nods slowly.

"I'm Gregory, and this is Elizabeth." He says. I shake his hand rapidly, and he laughs. A boy, around our apparent ages, scoffs.

"No one cares, old man!" He scoffs. My hands tighten in fists.

"You can't talk to your elders like that!" I say.

"Whatever." He laughs before walking away with a couple guys and girls. The beach has about ten more people on it, I notice. Sandy and Mr. Krabs walk up behind us.

"Hi there." Sandy says. "How ya doing?" Elizabeth immediately smiles.

"I'm alright." She says. "You all have such fine manners." I frown when, after her comment, Pat scratches his stomach very obviously.

"I'm Sandy, this is Eugene," Sandy says, motioning to the blunt red-haired man next to her. "And I see you already met Robert and Patrick. And our friend Quincy is over there." She points to Squid. Gregory nods.

"Live around here?" He asks.

"We kind of...wander." Sandy says. I can see she's uncomfortable at the questions; even she doesn't know everything about humans.

"You're homeless?" Elizabeth's eyes widen in pity, and I see that's not how Sandy wanted it to go.

"Well..." Sandy scratches the back of her head.

"Gregory, we have so much space." Elizabeth turns to her husband. He seems to be struggling with deciding.

"Nah, we don't need a place to stay." Sandy shrugs, flicking her hair behind her shoulder.

"Aye, the lass is right." Mr. Krabs says. "We're fine." Gregory shakes his head.

"We've got more than enough room." The gray haired man sighs. "We'd really love to have you." He takes Elizabeth's hand. I look at Mr. Krabs and Sandy.

"Could we talk about it?" Sandy says. Elizabeth nods, and she and Gregory walk a short distance away. "Get Squid." Sandy tells me. I rush over to where he seems to be arguing with S.J. and Cassie.

"Trust me, he's disgusting." Squid sighs.

"And you would know?" Cassie scoffs. As I get closer, it seems S.J. isn't part of the argument.

"Eugene is just a gross man." Squid replies. He turns to me. "What do you want?" I take a step back at his fierce tone.

"Can we talk..." I motion over at the sandcastle. He rolls his eyes.

"Fine." He grunts, and turns toward S.J.

"Call me?" She says. He nods.

"Of course." He follows me towards the others. As we explain the situation, he blurts out; "Why not?"

"We just weren't sure how much you'd be up for it." Sandy says. "You're not the easiest to work with, Quincy."

"No one is around. Why'd you call me that?" He asks.

"What happens if we accidentally call you Squidward in front of someone?" She points out. Squid stays silent. Sandy turns to Gregory and Elizabeth.

"We would be very grateful to stay in your house, just for a couple days." Sandy says. Elizabeth smiles.

_Squid isn't very good at staying for "just a couple days" _I think. Maybe he'll be sensible this time.

"That's great." Gregory says. "Would you like to go now?" I exchange a look with Pat.

"Alright." I say. Elizabeth guides us over to a parking lot, where they have these strange metal things that look like boats, but not exactly the same.

"It's safe." Elizabeth exchanges a worried look with her husband when we all look at the thing suspiciously. Sandy smiles and nods. "Now, we only have five seats, but the house isn't far. Maybe we could drive some of you, and then get the other two?"

"Alright, Sq- Quincy." Sandy coughs. "Quincy, _Robert_, and Patrick can get the first ride, and then Mr. Krabs and I?"

"Wait, you can't leave me with these two!" Squid says. Sandy looks up at him, because he is about four inches taller.

"Why, too uncomfortable?" Her cold glare makes him back off.

"Alright, let's go." Squid says. We get in the machine, Elizabeth and Gregory in front, with Gregory at the wheel, and the three of us get in the back.

_This is a little too perfect._ I think, but say nothing as we drive towards the rows of huge houses.


	6. Showers & Door Knobs

The magnificent white house takes my breath away. The crimson doors have huge glass windows, and something else that catches Squidward's attention. I wrap the beach towel that they lent me tighter to hug my body.

"Look at the sleek design of this door knob!" Squid exclaims. His hand runs over the golden handle, and I smile huge.

"Well, Elizabeth, you could let them inside, and I'll pick up their friends." He kisses her cheek and walks back over to his... "boat." Elizabeth turns a key in the lock, and lets us in.

The first room is even more magnificent than the front. Smooth, glossy maroon tiling serves as a floor, and two red couches face each other towards a glass center table and a large black thing I assume is a television. Book cases are on the walls, and a hall crosses in front, going from left to right, and I have to wonder if I'd be allowed to blow magnificent bubbles here.

"Wow." Squidward seems dazed by the magnificence, and I hear Patrick and Elizabeth talking excitedly behind me. I walk over and run my finger across the fabric on one of the couches. It's tightly knit, and smells like my Grandma's house.

_Grandma_. I resist the urge to start bawling at the thought of her; I miss her so much, and it's only been about three days. The sun will be setting in a couple hours. I sigh.

"Something wrong, Robert?" It takes me a second to remember Elizabeth is talking to me.

"No, no." I smile. "Thank you so much." Squidward raises a dark gray, almost black, eyebrow at me, then resumes his adoration of the delicately designed floor molding.

"Wow." I hear Sandy's first astonishment at the room a couple minutes later, and turn. She is completely shocked at the magnificence. I turn to Mr. Krabs, who's jaw is dropped in wonderment.

"These folks are rich as barnacles!" Mr. Krabs laughs, and Gregory gives him a weird look. Mr. Krabs quickly covers it; "My older brother said it in play a lot; I picked up on it." Wow, Sandy and Mr. K must have planned this all out. Gregory whispers something to his wife, then flashes such a happy grin it must be genuine. I skip over to Patrick, who is holding a book in his hands. I hover over his shoulder.

_The Ugly Duckling,_ by Hans Christian Anderson. I grunt at it in indifference.

"We have two guest showers," Elizabeth announces, bringing everyone's attention to her. She shows us where they are, and Sandy and Squidward get in first. We are herded into another room, with some cheaper looking chairs, and a small table. We sit, and Elizabeth walks away.

"Aye, these people must have more money than King Neptune himself!" Mr. Krabs laughs.

"Yeah, and imagine the food they must eat!" Patrick exclaims, rubbing his belly.

"I doubt they have Krabby Patties..." I murmur, missing my favorite thing in the whole world. Next to Spat.

"Crabby what?" Gregory, who heard me as he walked past the room, asks. I begin panicking mentally.

"It's from some greasy spoon a couple miles from here." Mr. K covers for me. Gregory nods, but looks confused, and deep in thought. He mutters something about taking notes to himself before walking away.

"You just called the Krusty Krab a greasy spoon!" I say, somewhat shocked.

"Wait!" Patrick shouts out.

"What is it, me blub?" Mr. Krabs says, and I don't get it.

"How do we get home?" Patrick whines. "Shouldn't we be using our thinkers to come up with somethin'?"

"Okay." Mr. Krabs replies, and begins thinking. We sit here for five minutes before realizing: we have no ideas. Both of our geniuses are in the shower. I hear movement and cabinets opening then closing, and Sandy walks in our room. She's wearing a light sweater, and a skirt.

"Ah, feels nice to be clean." She sighs, and sits down between Mr. Krabs and Patrick. I huff. It's not that big a deal, but I'm still upset. Could it be related to that intense feeling of want for her? I've _never_ felt this way.

"Hey." We turn to see Squidward has walked in, wearing jeans and a red plaid shirt. "She told me her son keeps clothes here, I don't know." He takes a seat between Patrick and Sandy.

"Alright, I'm gonna go wash up." Mr. Krabs stands.

"You better go, too, Pat." Squidward says, covering his nose. I nod, smelling his sweat. He and Mr. K walk out, leaving me with Sandy and Squidward.


	7. Angry Conversation & Biggest Bubble Wins

**Yeah, this update is overdue. Preview for Ch. 8 at the end of this chapter! **

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"I say we give up and accept that we're never getting back home." Squid's leans on his elbow. We've been trying to come up with ideas, but even my two geniuses can't think of anything helpful.

"No, I'd say we find someone who is smart about land," Sandy stands up and slams the table. "And willing to help, you jerk!" Squidward stands and they begin arguing. Back-and-forth, insults, yelling, fighting. I feel tears threatening to spill because I just want to go home!

"You want me to tell him what happened?" Sandy makes the first comment I notice.

"He's a crybaby, you'd kill him!" Squidward yells.

"What?" I whisper.

"Fine, you lousy piece of sod!" Sandy slumps back in her chair, and I resist the urge to ask what happened, because they obviously don't want to tell me. My pale hands are shaking underneath the table, so I get up and look out in the hall. No one is around. I sit back down.

"Let's do this calmly and not like some kind of..." Squid sighs.

"Animal." Sandy finishes. She looks up at him quickly, and they both smile. Not normal smiles. Not Patrick-ate-an-entire-patty-whole kind of smile. It gets my blood boiling in a way that has never happened before. Both of them, smiling at each other. Why do humans have to have such strong emotions towards the opposite gender?!

Patrick walks back in the room, wearing a set of clothes similar to Squidward's. I walk down the velvet-carpeted hall to the bathroom. The shower isn't like mine, but not too terribly different. There's no tub, but a fancy chamber with alternating blue and white tiles. A towel with clothes folded on top sits on the counter. I undress, and turn on the shower. I wash my hair, squirt some pink soap that smells like Sandy's tree dome-garden out of a bottle and clean up. When I'm finished, I dry off, pull the clothes on, and remember for the first time that Pat and Squidward weren't wearing shoes, only because there are no shoes for me, either. I walk into the hall, and bump into Gregory.

"Oh, sorry, Mr. Gregory." I squeak out.

"No problem." He starts walking away, but pauses, turns around, and cocks his head in thought. He asks me; "Do you like bubbles, Robert?" He smiles when I tense in anticipation, and a huge grin bursts onto my face.

"Oh most certainly, sir!" My mouth opens wide as I talk. He laughs.

"Come on, I'll show you." I begin skipping after him, but stop in my tracks.

"Can I get Patrick?" I ask.

"Sure." He smiles. He leans against the wall, and I race the couple of feet between me and Patrick. When I break into the room, Mr. Krabs is back.

"Patrick, Gregory has bubbles come on let's go!" I say without a pause, and, before even seeing Patrick's reaction, race back to Gregory. I hear Pat running behind me. Gregory walks us back to his garage, where he has his 'boat' parked. It seems like it's mostly used for storage, but on one shelf, sits about fourteen bottles of bubble soap. I look at Gregory.

"Have at it." I run up to the bubbles and begin blowing tons of them. Patrick does the same and, seeing the bubbles, it makes me laugh.

"Bahaha!" Patrick laughs in response. I look over at Gregory, and see him watching us intently.

"Having fun?" He asks.

"Yeah!" I call out. He nods, pulls a small notepad out of his shirt pocket, and writes something down. I suggest a contest to Patrick.

"Biggest bubble wins?" I say.

"Oh yeah!" Patrick hastily begins dipping his wand into the liquid, but I'm more precise. It's all about the technique.

"Aw, you're too good at this, Spongebob." Patrick crosses his arms when my bubble is about the size of my hand, and his popped at the size of his pinkie. It pops suddenly, and I frown.

"It's getting late." Gregory tells us, putting his notepad in his pocket. "I'll show you to the guest rooms." He walks us back inside, and when we pass the other room, Squidward, Mr. Krabs, and Sandy join us.

"Now, we have two guest rooms," Gregory comments. "But our son still has a room here. So the girl can have his room, and the four men can have have the others." He points us in the directions of our rooms, and leaves, but not before commenting; "Also, don't go int the basement." I shake my head. Patrick and I take one room, and Squidward and Mr. Krabs get the other.

Our room is nice, with white blankets with green patterns and pillows. A brown rocking chair sits in one corner, and a dresser is on the wall near it. A closet on the wall has slide-open doors, but when I look inside, there's only a blanket and a spider family. A nightstand sits by the bed, with a glass of water and a small, white, ceramic tray with a black, powdery substance in it. When I smell it, it has a stench worse than the Chum Bucket. Well, almost.

"I'll take the chair." Patrick offers, taking the blanket out of the closet and sitting down.

"Thanks!" I smile, knowing all too well what it's like to have to share a blanket with Pat. I snuggle under the covers, and find the mattress is softer than my home one. But it still doesn't feel too comfortable; I just miss my old house. Eventually, I fall asleep.

"Wake up, Sponge." I hear a deep voice say. I open my eyes to find Patrick shaking me awake. He's not wearing a shirt, and I'm too tired to wonder why.

"What, what is it?" I ask. I look at the clock on the wall. It's twelve thirty am.

"We're meeting in Sandy's room." Patrick replies.

"Alright but," I sigh. "Zip up your pants, Patrick. You look like a homeless person." My heart wrenches because right now, we might as well _be_ homeless. I get out of bed, wondering what on Neptune's green earth could they need to talk about right now.

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**Preview for chapter eight:**

_"Doesn't anybody think that this is working out a little too perfectly?" Squidward points out. "Something is up with Greg and 'Liz here." He comments with sarcastic nicknames. _

_"Aye, have you noticed that Gregory always watchin' us?" Mr. Krabs agrees, leaning back in his chair. He did keep taking notes while Patrick and I were blowing bubbles. "I don't like him one bit."_

_ "We'll be cautious." Sandy promises. But still, I get the feeling that Squidward isn't convinced that they're on our side. And I don't think I am, either._


	8. Eating Contests & A Tie

We get in the room, and everyone looks just as tired. Squidward is hugging a pillow and sitting on the floor, Mr. Krabs is sitting in a chair, and Sandy is sitting cross-legged on her bed.

"I need me sleep, let's just try to come up with somethin'." My boss yawns loudly, and Sandy shushes him.

"We need to keep quiet." She says. "Now, anyone have anything specific before we start our thinkers up on how to get home?" Squidward seems to perk up, and cracks his knuckles.

"Doesn't anybody think that this is working out a little _too_ perfectly?" He points out. "Something is up with Greggy and 'Liz here." He comments with sarcastic nicknames. "We've got food, warm beds, a roof over our heads. Meanwhile I read at the Land Section of the Bikini Bottom Library that homelessness is at a record high in this Ame..ri...ca." He finishes, lengthening the word to receive correct pronunciation.

"Aye, have you noticed that Gregory always watchin' us?" Mr. Krabs agrees, leaning back in his chair. He did keep taking notes while Patrick and I were blowing bubbles.

"We _are_ guests in his home." Sandy says.

"Hey, you think I don't know how hospitality works?" Mr. Krabs argues. "I do!...But still, I don't like him one bit."

"We'll be cautious." Sandy promises. But still, I get the feeling that Squidward isn't convinced that they're on our side. And I don't think I am, either. Something about a guy who watches your every move seems weird.

We discuss it for at least an hour, spitting out every theory that comes to mind. And every one is immediately knocked down by common sense. When Patrick starts falling asleep around two, Sandy decides we've been thinking enough.

"We've got time." Sandy sighs, lying down. "At least enough for us to get a good night's sleep." We all nod, and I help Patrick back to bed. He flops down onto the bed, so I tuck him in and curl up in the chair.

**xxxxxx**

"Up and at 'em, boys." I open my eyes to see Sandy shaking me awake. "Elizabeth is making us breakfast." We get up, Patrick pulls his shirt on, and we stumble down the hall towards the smell.

"Good morning, Robert. Patrick." Elizabeth smiles, cooking at the stove. Squidward and Mr. Krabs are already eating. We sit down next to them at the granite counter, and I pour a glass of OJ for me, one for Sandy, and one for Patrick. He picks his up at the same speed as Sandy, and they end up racing. Patrick wins.

"Nice one, Patrick!" Sandy finishes with a heavy breath, high-fiving him.

"I-I could race, too, Sandy." I say, fighting for her attention.

"Sorry, little buddy." She replies. "No one has a gullet like Patrick's." I sigh in disappointment.

"Yeah, she's right." Patrick stretches his neck out.

"Yeah, real culture, Pat." Squidward rolls his eyes. Sandy turns to argue, but they only look at each other for a second before looking away. I squint at them in question, but Elizabeth sets down a hot plate of some stiff wavy brown thing in front of me that makes me temporarily forget.

"This is delicious bacon." Sandy hints subtly at me. "Thank you, 'Liza." Elizabeth nods. I pick up a piece of bacon and take a bite. It's amazing. I take another bite and see Patrick has already finished. It reminds me of how hungry I am, and I eat quickly, also. Sandy squints at me, and we begin an eating contest. She finishes just as I start my third and final piece.

"Darn it!" I say, wiping my mouth with a napkin.

"Aw, you came close!" Sandy wraps her arm around my shoulder and pulls me close for a second. Even that short, it gets my heart beating. Gregory walks in, a suit and tie on. He seems shocked at us.

"Come on!" He says. "You should be getting ready!"

"What?" Squidward asks, mouth full of food.

"Elizabeth, you didn't tell them?" He asks. She shrugs. Gregory smiles and responds; "You five are working today!"


	9. Toothpaste & Spongebob's a Comedian

"What?" Squidward repeats.

"Well we can't just let you guys live here forever." Gregory says jovially. "And we have places you could work! We've got an entire lab dedicated to the study of, well, I'll explain when we get there." Mr. Krabs exchanges a look with Sandy quickly before Gregory continues; "You see, we've got an independent cafeteria for the workers, and our chef recently retired, with no one to replace him." I straighten up and release a little gasp.

"Something wrong, honey?" Elizabeth asks.

"No, I just _love_ cooking!" I can feel my cheeks spreading into a grin wider than even when we blew bubbles. Elizabeth smiles mildly.

"Well, I have to put some laundry in the drier, Gregory, make sure they're taken care of." She kisses his cheek and walks out of the room.

"Excuse me, Gregory," Mr. Krabs says. "But may I ask you something?"

"Of course." Gregory says.

"How old are you?" Mr. Krabs says. "Because you seem awfully rich, and old enough to have retired a long time ago, and-"

"I could have retired twenty-five years ago, when I was thirty two." Gregory says, cutting him off. "But I just love working so much. And I can take the hours I want, seeing as I own my business."

"Ah." Mr. Krabs nods. Gregory tells us to just straighten out our clothes from last night; they shouldn't be too dirty, and no one will really see us too much in public. Elizabeth comes back with some disposable toothbrushes and tiny toothpaste dispensers that I think are the cutest, and sends us to the bathrooms to clean up.

"Golly, there isn't much room in here, is there?" Sandy says, trying to get to the mirror. She, Mr. Krabs, Pat and I are all using one bathroom; Squid insisted on having his own.

"Why don't you go join Squidward?" Mr. Krabs says after spitting into the sink.

"Nah, it's not _that_ crowded in here." Sandy says. I continue brushing my teeth until I'm sure they're bright and sparkling; after all, I didn't brush them for those few days in the cave, and a bad taste has riddled my tongue since.

"Alright, I'm out." Patrick says when he finishes brushing. He was against doing it at all,but Sandy made him.

"Pat." I say with a sigh and a glance with Mr. Krabs. "Your fly is down." He looks down and hastily pulls his zipper closed. He strides out of the bathroom, confident now that his zipper is up.

"He's gonna fall on his hiney someday when we're not around to help him." Sandy says.

"Well, he did it often enough in Bikini Bottom." I say, thinking of how many times he'd do it quite literally. Sandy laughs.

"You sure are funny, Spongebob." Sandy sighs. "Reminds me why we became friends in the first place." I drop my toothbrush into the sink in realization. We first became friends because we saved each other from a giant clam. But she invited me over because I was funny. And that's what I need to do to get her attention. Be funny.

"You alright, me boy?" Mr. Krabs asks.

"Yeah be right back!" I say and sprint out the door. I walk quickly without technically running down the hall to the room Pat and I share and slam the door open, only to find Patrick sitting on the bed scratching his leg.

"Pat I need to talk to you." I close the door behind me and face him. "I know how to make Sandy fall in love with me."

"You're still barking up that tree?" Patrick says. "I thought you stopped liking her a long time ago."

"I did, but it's back." I say.

"So, how to make her love you?" Patrick says.

"I have to make her laugh." I explain. "That's why we became friends in the first place, so it should make her want to be more than friends."

"Well, good luck buddy." Patrick says. I leave the room and nearly fly down the hall to the front door, where Gregory is waiting with Squidward.

"Hey Quincy!" I say cheerfully.

"Oh good, you're ready." Squid says, and I catch something faintly negative, but he probably didn't mean anything by it. Patrick walks over, and soon Sandy and Mr. Krabs follow.

"You're looking nice today, Sandy." Gregory comments.

"Thanks, y'all don't look too bad yourself, Greg." Sandy says, and Gregory's infrequent frown returns briefly, but he smiles again.

"Let's go." Gregory says. We walk out the door, ready to start the next phase of our human survival.

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**A/N: I know I haven't been updating nearly enough. But I've had a lot of schoolwork to catch up on, and I will try to update more regularly, nothing is promised though. But I hope this was an interesting chapter for you, and I've got some ideas brewing in my head that will make the next few chapters very interesting, and maybe a reappearance of an OC? ;)**

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**Also, if you don't mind me advertising something, read on. If not, then just please review and fav! **

**If you're a fan of YouTube, there is a challenge forum that you would like. It is linked on the top of my profile if you want to check it out. Thanks! **


	10. Quills and Sonya

Gregory walks in front of us as we approach a huge, nine story building. As we enter the lobby, which has a reception desk, a big white and blue rug, and an elevator, Gregory walks up to the desk.

"Hello, Addie." He says to the curly-haired woman running reception.

"Morning, sir." She hands him a little card, and he runs it through a scanner.

"And did Sonya print out the other ones I needed?" He asks. She hands him five cards with numbers stamped on the back and a bar code on the front. He turns to us. "These are your work ID's. Every morning you need to ask Addie here for your card, run it through the scanner, and bring it with you to your workstation." He hands them out as Squidward asks a question.

"And where would that be?" He puts his hands on his hips.

"Well, Quincy," He says. "That depends on your study. You see, here at Thompson Center for Life Study, we study all kinds of things. It is a place that you can work for us, and it helps you get launched into life, which is why most of our employees are under twenty-five."

"Except for me." Addie says. "Yes, been working here thirty years, straight out of high school. And I knew right away that working reception, greeting the hundred or so workers every morning, that's the life for me." She laughs. "And the pay's not half bad, either!" Gregory laughs.

"So exactly what studies do you have?" Squidward presses.

"Oh, pretty much everything." He says. "Medicine, modern culture, biology, Renaissance art-"

"Art?" Squidward lights up. "Sign me up!"

"That's on the fourth floor." Gregory says.

"Excuse me, but did you say the study of medicine?" Sandy asks. Gregory nods. "Alright, that's fantastic!" Gregory smiles, and tells her it's on the third floor.

"And Patrick." He says. "You can be assistant to reception." He sends Patrick over to reception, and he shakes hands with Addie. "Robert and Eugene." He says. "The cafeteria is down the hall on the first floor, so just wait here while I show your two friends to their work stations." He walks into the elevator with them, and I turn to Mr. Krabs.

"So, we'll be working together, Mr. K!" I say. "Just like before."

"Aye, lad." He says. "But remember." His voice drops to a whisper. "Don't put too much faith into these people. Americans are known for their greed. Watch your step." My eyes widen as he pulls away. Meanwhile, by the desk, a girl has walked out holding a clipboard and sporting glasses.

"So Anthony said the papers should be out by-" Her eyes meet mine and she says; "You. From the beach, you work here?"

"Starting today." I say with a smile, although I don't know who she is. She nods and returns to talking to Addie.

"Okay, so Sonya-" Addie says.

"I told you, call me S.J." My jaw drops as I remember. I exchange a glance with Mr. Krabs. He shrugs. S.J. and Addie talk for less than a minute before she picks up a few papers off the curved desk and walks into the elevator.

"Aye, Quincy really likes her." He lets out a chuckle. "And I can see why."

"She _is_ pretty, Mr. K." I say honestly as the doors close her in the elevator.

"What's this?" I turn to see Patrick picking up a fancy pen-like thing. Addie snatches it out of his hands.

"A quill." She huffs and slumps in her chair. "I'd much rather have that tall guy-"

"Quincy." Patrick puts in.

"_Quincy_." Addie growls. "Anyway, Gregory takes in pity cases all the time. It only makes mine and every other worker's lives hell. You don't know what you're doing and it only makes my job ten times harder, especially with hammerheads like this one."

"Sandy's adequate." I say. "She's super smart."

"I'm sure she is." Addie huffs. The sound of footsteps brings our attention behind us to where Gregory is walking up.

"You're sure who is what?" Gregory asks.

"I said Sonya is working hard." Addie lies.

"Wait-" I start to confront her, but Mr. Krabs elbows me in the gut. "Oof!"

"Follow me, good sirs," Gregory says to us. "And I'll show you the work station." We start walking down a wide, tile floor hallway, with many doors but next to no people. We reach the end, to find it turns right for a few feet, and we walk into a set of metal double doors with a sign that reads; _EMPLOYEES ONLY_.

"Are we employees?" I say.

"You sure are, Robert," Gregory says as he opens the doors and we walk in. "Welcome to your kitchen."

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**So...you guys like Addie? Yes or no? Let me know in a review, which I always appreciate. :3**


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